A Thousand Words

Sometimes I am not even sure if its outside or just in my head. Constantly worried about everything and everyone. Feel like everyone has a mask and refuse to show me the face beneath. Thousands of masks that swung swords at my face, leaves me in pieces. No trust. No faith. How to fix it all? Always watching my back. Question anything that shines. Close myself off. That makes it easier. Die inside. How can I survive? Drowning and do not want to tell anyone. Afraid to pull others under. Need a life saver, afraid to ask for one. Want to solve my own problems. Is it my head that is always the enemy? Convincing me that the shadows are following? Always something behind my back to watch, miss what is in front of me. Pushing everyone away without realizing, find out, freak out. Do not want to lose the people closest to me, but my mistakes haunt me. Can anyone look past my scars? So desperately want love, but afraid that if I get some, it won't be authentic. Feel so alone...feel like I am ...

More and more recently, I have been becoming vastly aware of my own opinions about the world. With this comes new stances I take on things that I am passionate about. One of those things is animals. I have always been so in love with animals. As a little girl, I was always way more of a stuffed animal kid than a doll one. I carried my stuffed animals around like my best friends, and gave them names and personalities. As I have grown, my love for animals has only increased along with me. I am always eager to learn everything I can about any kind of animal, and refuse to have an aversion to animal simply because other people do. My favorite kind of animal is a dog. Dogs are the most loving, sweet, and loyal animals that exist on this planet. They can be your very best friend, reduce your stress and anxiety, and bring you lots of laughs!  I have never been able to describe the feeling of having a dog plop down in your lap and just fall asleep. The love of a happy, cared for animal is ...